When we began our surrogacy journey, we dreamt up what our perfect surrogate might be like. We hoped she’d be kind, funny, a loving and attentive mother, warm, and spirited. We looked forward to creating a friendship and building the kind of trust you can only imagine you’d need before letting someone carry your baby. When we met Sarah, all of those dreams were realized and then some. We matched in October, I swiftly began IVF, and all of the anxiety over ‘will we ever meet our perfect match?’ washed away.
If you are experiencing infertility, you’ll know that having moments of total trust that things are going to be OK can be rare. Sarah reintroduced us to that kind of serenity that it would all work out. Well, today we were thrown a curveball. Sarah has been dealt some unexpected cards and after serious consideration she had to make the hard decision to step back from our surrogacy journey. Needless to say we’re incredibly sad not to be moving forward with her – she’s been a total angel to us these past few months and we’ve become fast friends.
I have a million emotions right now and I’m still trying to sort through them. I know we’re going to pull through this and that even though this wasn’t the news we wanted for our journey, we’ll keep rolling with the punches. I’m so humbled that Sarah wanted to be a part of our journey. She’s such a special person, and knowing that she saw something good in us makes this situation hurt a little less.
As for next steps – today we have a good cry and eat some takeout. Tomorrow, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin our search all over again.