In January when our previous match fell through, we took it hard. Sarah, our former surrogate, had already become a great friend, and we’d really invested the time to build an important bond. Coming to terms with moving forward in our surrogacy journey without her, and having to begin our search all over again, was incredibly hard. Like all pieces of difficult news within our infertility experience, we took time to be sad and then we dusted ourselves off and kept going. What choice did we have?
I sat for a week, wondering how we could begin again. I wondered how we could tell our story and what the next steps might look like. Instagram had helped us find Sarah, so I figured maybe Instagram could help us again? From there, a video idea was born. Like most Instagram Reels, it felt a little awkward to film, but we had to trust that it was worth a shot and we pressed publish.
The next day, a message popped into our Instagram DMs from a woman named Ashley. After some back and forth we learned we had quite a bit in common, and we were really enjoying the conversation. She reached out to our agency, 4U Surrogacy, who began doing pre-screening for us while we continued to text and get to know each other better. A few weeks later, 4U let us know that she’d formally cleared pre-screening, and with cautious optimism we set up a video chat with her and her husband.
It was the easiest conversation I’ve had in a long time. After discussing surrogacy and making sure we were all on the same page about all aspects of a potential journey together, the conversation naturally flowed into basically everything else – jobs, home life, favourite restaurants and even Zane and her husband’s shared love of BBQing.
Two days later we were driving out to meet her family in person. The spark was immediate. It felt like we were old friends, and any nerves I had disappeared. Sometimes in life things just feel right, and there isn’t a way to capture that feeling in words. After grabbing all you can eat sushi together for dinner, we made the official ask and got an enthusiastic yes! So there it is – we’re matched!
I still don’t know if I have the words to describe that feeling – joy, peace, trust, and an enormous amount of gratitude all wrapped together. This is the one thing in life that Zane and I so desperately wish for and we can’t do for ourselves. The fact that someone could see our potential as parents and as friends, and would so selflessly help us to make Baby Colt happen… it’s just the most incredible feeling in the world.
Now that our adventure is back on, and we have the most amazing family on this journey with us, my heart feels really full.